Patrick will be the reason I quit going to therapy.  I do not know how to rate him, so I won't, and I do not know where to start.  I guess at the beginning.  At first, I met him, and before the session was over, he wanted to send me to someone else.  I do not know why.  I found it weird, but he said I was "more educated than he was on my issues".  I have anxiety.  His bio says he helps people with anxiety.  So, if he can't help me, then what on earth type of anxiety does he even treat?  My guess is none, due to what happened during sessions.  

Number one, he always keeps me 90 minutes.  He did from day one.  Oh wait, back up, he sent me to Jasmine Flores (you can read about her by clicking on her name) and I didn't want to go back after seeing her once, and asked Patrick if he'd take me back.  He said yes and I went back.  He seemed super nice and we got along.  After seeing Jasmine (and the others before coming to this office), this was something I was seeking in a therapist: someone nice.  But I didn't understand that sometimes nice can mean too nice and eventually could mean something else.  

So, the 90 minutes thing.  I thought it was going to be occasional, but almost every single time he kept me 90 minutes.  The clock is positioned behind me on a wall where I can't see it, so I had no idea when our time was up.  My husband was in the waiting room each week and Patrick knew this, and he he still kept me.  One time, I even said I had to leave quickly at the 60 min mark so I wasn't late to another appointment and he still kept me longer (not 90 minutes though).  My goal from day one was to work on being alone, as I am agoraphobic, and my husband was soon going back to work.  I wanted to work on skills for this.  He knew this right away, but still hasn't once even tried to talk me to me about it, even though he knows our time is limited (as once my husband gets a job, we'll lose our insurance).  Instead, he will ask me about an assortment of things.  Which brings me to my biggest issue.  

We were chatting about something, probably about my "good thing that happened this week" and my "bad thing that happened this week" (I am paraphrasing).  Then out of the blue, he brought the conversation to my supposed "food allergies".  I corrected him, and said they weren't allergies, just irritations with certain foods since being sick in 2023.  He then said "Yes, I hesitated to call them allergies, because most of the time people with food allergies will have issues with their skin, like hives.  But you don't seem to have that issue.  You always have nice skin."  

For one, why would I get hives or any other type of skin reaction while I am in his office?  I am never eating.  And for two, who the hell tells their CLIENT they have nice skin??  What the hell was that about?  That's so beyond inappropriate as a therapist to say to their client.  And the whole thing was weird, because he brought it up out of the blue...just so he could say that.  It felt like the whole thing was a segue into his weird little compliment.  And he's talked about my skin before.  He asked me if I had a skincare routine after seeing my nails done, which he pointed out, which I also thought was weird (mostly because he made it be about his astonishment that I hate getting my nails done, rather than a therapeutic insight).  He slightly made it be about self-care (kinda-sorta), but since he brought up my skin again, I don't think it was about self-care at all.  I think he wanted to say his comment about me having nice skin back then, but he couldn't because I got all weirded out and started babbling about my son's skincare routine instead.  

At the end of this session, he started asking questions about my "Healing from high ACE score" group I am starting and said he would send clients my way.  Which is a HUGE no-no in the therapy industry.  For one, it puts me into a space to "owe him one" or to feel obligated to keep him in my life, just because he would be doing me this favor.  For two, this creates a working relationship between us, rather than a client/therapist relationship, and I am not a licensed anything.  For three, this puts us in a position that he could possibly end up seeing me outside of therapy in this weird dynamic he was trying to create between us, which is even odder.  He even went as far as telling me that "life coaches are pretty much equal to therapists" (again, I am paraphrasing), as though making me feel like I am on par with him would do something for him.  What that is, I am not sure of.  But I can only guess.  

Whatever his reasoning for doing what he did, his behavior felt predatory.  Like he was grooming me to see how far I'd let him go, even though I had told him about all the trauma I've endured from other therapists and in my life.  Oh yes, he also asked me something weird.  I had been talking about my abusive mother for a bit, but never revealing the extent or really any of her abuse, and he never asked.  But the moment I said I had an abusive father, he stopped me and said "You said your father was abusive.  Are we talking emotional...verbal...sexual?"  I had never once brought up my father to him before, and for him to ask me if he sexually abused me was just out of line.  A) that for me to bring up and b) we didn't have that kind of rapport built up yet for him to even know if I was comfortable talking about any of sexual abuse.  I quickly changed the subject when he asked.  

As for the grooming, I cannot say if he's trying to fast track a strange relationship with me outside of his job or he's just using everything he's done and said for some sort of control over me.  Either way, it felt predatory. 

I keep questioning if I am overreacting here.  But I don't think I am.  And yes, I could be wrong, he could just be a very inexperienced and bad therapist.  But that's the thing: if he's making me feel this way, is this the right job for him?  He doesn't seem to go over time with his clients before me.  And he never has clients scheduled after me.  Is he cancelling them or just not scheduling them?  Because there is never anyone there waiting to get into their session when I leave.  Which is another thing I find completely strange.  It feels very intentional he's keeping me that long.  He's never once asked me outrightly "Should I schedule you for 90 minutes?".  It's presented like it just "accidentally" happens every week.  

In person visits only. 
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