0 (out of five)

Donna was not my therapist, she is an art therapist who I took a class from (at my therapist's office at the outpatient clinic at Stepping Stones of Rockford), who I don't think knows what art therapy even means.  The art part OR the therapist part.  

She's nice.  She's chipper.  She's full of energy.  But she has no idea how to create a safe space for mentally ill people.  

First of all, she gave us three rules:  

  1. You don't have to talk. 
  2. You don't have to be a good artist ("in fact, it's better if you aren't, because art therapy is about the process, not about the finished piece!" she said to us--which, as you'll read later, was such a BS thing to say to us).
  3.  And you don't have to show your work.  

Now, I am an artist.  I've made art for almost 50 years.  And even though I am not the greatest artist, I still have sold many of my pieces to people before.  BUT, and this is a huge but here, I am NOT the type of artist who can draw off the top of my head.  I always need something to work from.  Be it a picture, a person, still life, etc.  I once did an art competition with my cousin's daughter who was four.  She said "Let's each draw a giraffe and see who's better!"  I said "You will win this, I cannot imagine what a giraffe looks like in my head.  I have to draw from a picture."  So, we both drew and of course, she won.  She's an amazing artist and can draw anything.  I am not like her.  I have mild aphantasia.  I can draw a basic idea of a giraffe, but I can't imagine what most of the giraffe looks like.  And as an artist, this makes me feel bad because I always need source material to draw from.  When I don't, it looks less than childlike.  

Which is why, I did not, in any way, shape, or form, want to share my art in class.  Which is just weird to do anyways, as this is "therapy", right?  How is what we make anyone else's business?  This isn't art class.  

So, I am a certified therapeutic art life coach (which means I use art as art of my life coaching, but I am not a trained art therapist, not like Donna is...) and even I know what constitutes as art therapy.  But I get it, it was our first day, we're warming up, but still, what happened was just plain weird.  First of all, she had us draw with our non-dominant hand a scribble across a large piece of paper.  I took my time and made a nice scribble.  But then she had us pass our papers to the left, which threw us all for a loop/  And, then we're supposed to make shit out of the scribbles of our neighbor.  Um...what?  

Art therapy is defined as: 

"Art therapy is a form of expressive therapy that uses creative processes such as drawing, painting, sculpting, and other artistic activities to help individuals explore emotions, improve mental well-being, and foster self-awareness. It is facilitated by trained art therapists who guide clients in using art as a means of communication and healing, particularly when words alone are not enough. Art therapy can be beneficial for people dealing with trauma, anxiety, depression, stress, or other psychological challenges, as well as those seeking personal growth and self-expression."

Um, so where is the "exploring emotions" or "improving mental well-being" or "fostering self-awareness" in this exercise?  As an art life coach (that I call "art medicine") I use all of those things in our art exercises.  Each exercise has meaning to the client and in the end, the piece of considered a part of their healing and self-expression.  What Donna was having us do is known as "busywork", which is what you have little kids do to keep them busy with their hands while they're in your care.  I used to be an art teacher, so I know exactly what "busywork" looks like.  I am a mentally ill adult, not a preschooler.  I have severe anxiety, which can sometimes lead to paranoia and depression.  And I wasn't here to do "busywork", I was here to learn how to use art to help my anxiety.  Or at least help me to feel connected to my classmates.  

So, the piece I was given was awful.  She just scratched chicken scratch all over it, but who cares, right?  Although it did give me anxiety to have to make something off the top of my head, especially with something so messy.  Which is why passing the papers to your neighbor was a bad idea, in my opinion, but whatever.  This isn't even the issue here.  The issue is that she went around the room and praised the really good artists and "oohed and ahhed" over their work and spent a lot of time doing so.  And the ones that didn't do well artistically (including me), she'd scrunch up her face and say "Oh, huh, would you look that that".  

First rule: Not having to speak, but then she proceeds to go around and not only say our names out loud, but we had to say our pronouns.  EVEN THOUGH SHE GAVE US NAME PLATES TO WRITE OUR NAMES AND PRONOUNS ON ALREADY!  I am almost fifty...did I already tell you that?  My pronoun is the way I look unless I tell you otherwise, which is the way it should be.  I have no issues with various pronouns, but unless I tell you I am something different, don't ask me to share mine.  But that's even not the issue here, the issue was that she forced us to speak out loud, (even though she said we didn't have to) and say our pronouns...YET calls the one person in class who said they are a "they", and Donna calls them a "she" the rest of the time.  What in the hell is going here??  Was that just for show?  Why did she want our pronouns if she's not going to use them?  The person even had it written down on their visible nameplate, so why didn't Donna look at those before speaking to them??  It really felt like a game she was playing.  A game called ABUSE.  

Second rule: We don't have to be good artists, yet she praises the good artists (like a LOT) and then acts visibly weird about the bad ones.   Yes, that makes us bad artists feel great, right??  Sigh.  

Third, and most important rule: You don't have to share your art, YET she goes around and holds up everyone's art to see and comment on.  Literally, having the class critique your work.  What in the holy bananas kind of art therapy is that????  Why were we told we didn't have to share and yet Donna still not only has us do it, but forced us to?  And then to have everyone comment on it?  What kind of art therapy is that?  Again, a game.  

She also literally had zero lesson plans for the class.  ZERO.  She said at the end of class "Hmm I wonder what I will have you guys do next week?" and than came up with some other type of busywork for us to do.  What kind of teacher is she?  What kind of art therapist is she??  This was more like a kindergarten art class than art therapy.  

So tell me, what kind of emotions did we explore with this activity?  Oh, I will tell you the kind of emotions in invoked in ME: shame, humiliation, and self-hatred.  And ANGER.  Lots and lots of ANGER.  

How did this affect my mental well-being?  Oh, well I had horrible RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria) the rest of the night (which is like really horrible depression that makes you feel worthless).  The shame I felt as she held up my work, with her making confused faces, asking others what they thought of it, and everyone just being silent because my art was so weird.  I was utterly humiliated and all night long my mind was racing with thoughts of self-hatred.

How did this foster self-awareness?  Can we just be real here and say this wasn't art therapy by any stretch, so how could it have fostered anything but deep shame and humiliation to all of the participants in class?  Because she was awful to make safe-space promises to us and then to just go back on them in the moment, acting like those promises were never made to begin with.  Reminds me of my mother who has NPD.  She would make me feel safe by telling me one thing, and then RIP it out from under me by going back on those promises the next moment.  That's abuse.  I think what Donna did was abuse, too.  A room full of vulnerable people doing vulnerable work?  Yeah, easy prey.  Especially in this day and age to ask what our pronouns are and then refuse to use them?  What the hell?  But that was just her: a leader who makes promises and doesn't keep them.  She should go into politics, she'd fit right in.  

My therapist Dani, at the time, I told her about all of this, but her and Donna are buddy/buddy so she just acted like I was overreacting.  

Sigh.  I really thought that art therapy would be better than this.  As it turns out, there are FAR more bad therapists than good ones.  

I give Donna a FAT ZERO out of five stars and an F- grade as a therapist.  

I only ever saw her once in person.